A N T I C I P A T I N G --- yet trying to live life in the moment

July 10, 2007

Too darn hot

I noticed it about a week ago (my overwhelming lack of desire). I haven't had or even craved a boy in over a week. Generally, I can't go even 3 days without a roll, some cuddle, a liaison, something. And yet, for the last 7-10 days I've not once glanced at a boy with hunger in my cotton drawers or wondered what size the waiter's cock or the guy in the subway sitting beside me might be. I feel strange, weak, lost, without purpose; Am I finally over meaningless sex?

It just can't be. If I give up meaningless sex, I may never have sex again, at all. And that's not me. I like sex (a lot). I have sex (plenty of it). And just cause I'm not in love, doesn't mean I don't deserve to get some lovin. I'm not gonna wait for a special guy - gonna wait for a dip in the heat. I realized today post text from 2 boys I'd normally meet (Guiliano and MG, my point exactly, I never turn down MG), that I'm just not interested in sex right now, cause it's a hot sweaty business and I'm hot and sweaty enough as is.

The a/c is on - I am off. Hope this heatwave ends soon.


Anonymous said...

Maybe your tired of boys and ready for a man. Hey Oh! I'm here all week. And no, I don't mean me.

From your form fitted shirt wearing black jean searching non-fluffy hair having upper westsider once accused of over f.....g u. I know, that was a long time ago.

ves said...

Time heals all wounds, have long forgiven you for over f-cking me. That was at least 5 years ago. Now for man vs. boy. No good man can be found, I settle for boys because that's all the universe has availed me. I promise you I'm looking for better options (insert CSN&Y...... but if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with).

Gina said...

don't you want just one of them to really love ya, ves? i hope that happens i your life before you wind up like me... a 45 y/o childless spinsterrrrr! the walk of shame... the cruelest thing was that as soon as I got the divorce my hormones woke up. Figures.

ves said...

I love your concern, so sweet.

Plenty of boys have loved me, unfortunately I find I can't love them back. I can't settle. If I meet the right one, it'll make sense and so far, it just hasn't.

Technically you're a divorcee, so you can't be a spinster. Spinsters are women who never got married at all. In your case, you tried.