Mr. Mixed Message Asshole gets another chance to have me iron his shirts

I held my ground for 2 whole days, but on the third, when he left work early to come by my place to get his stuff he broke me down. Men hate to lose. So I was half expecting a bit of a struggle. I took all the necessary steps to fight against it. I made a date with a boy I find quite intriguing for just an hour later. All I had to do was hand off the stuff and make a clean break into the safety of a dinner date with a record producer who tells great stories and can keep me entertained for hours. My plan failed.

Doug showed up looking like he hadn't slept in days. He didn't have his usual arrogant strut, more of a hunchback dragging his gimp leg behind him, something I'd never seen on him before. We talked for a few minutes, I apologized for my shortcomings, cause although I never mention my faults, I played a major role in the demise, including keeping the company of other men. Which technically, his mixed messages and lack of commitment forced me to do, but nonetheless, I confessed to my acting like a whore. We parted and I went in the direction of my date only to have him call back and say he wanted to discuss things further, and I told him I couldn't - that I had plans and we really didn't have anything else to discuss. And he said some sweet stuff, and I crumbled, confessed more and hung up to cancel my dinner with the record producer who was so polite and nice about the whole thing.

I complain about boys, their inability to commit, their inability to be honest and yet I am just that way. I cheat, I lie and just when things start to get good, I run, I sabotage.

I don't expect much to come of this relationship, but I am trying and for the time being I'm back on shirt ironing duty.

Mr. Wonderful now known as Mr. Mixed Message Asshole

So I won't be ironing work shirts and giving pre-work blow jobs for a while, seriously, I've decided Mr. Wonderful is really Mr. Mixed Message Asshole and I've decided to ignore his calls and texts, which will probably make him want me more, or at least think that he does, and it will seem so sincere and I will want with all my heart to give him a (third) chance --- But, I won't. And I can be sure of it because, I've gone ahead and rekindled a sex affair friendship with an always adoring ex, who although can't be the one permanently, can definitely be the one that reminds me what it feels like to be with someone who actually likes me, is NOT completely head fucked or selfish, wants to see me happy, knows how to have a good time and loves to go down*. This ex has so many pros, but truth is, so many cons too. Though when it comes to being a friend, he's practically faultless, and always seems to step in and save me from myself by doing exactly what I need him to do, set the example for what a boy should treat a girl like and compared to him, poseurs crumble.

*Joe, that means provide oral sex.

PS. Vieques was amazing, I plan to go back, wish with all my heart I could have stayed --- Nothing but clear blue sea, sand and mofongo.

Too busy having fun to write

1. I like a boy (actually, 2...)
2. I'm going to the beach

will check in late next week so I can report on my tan lines and boyfriends.

5 dollar day

Today was a great day. Woke up beside a really cute boy I like, gave him a pre-work blowjob, ironed his shirt while he took a shower, dropped him off at the train, on my way back saw the hunched over homeless guy who usually hovers around Ave. A and Second, I consider him "my homeless guy," the one I feel compelled to pass a spare dollar to when I'm in a --- the world is kind and I am lucky mood. Today I gave him a five.