A N T I C I P A T I N G --- yet trying to live life in the moment

July 28, 2006

(Hey Diana, I took your advice)

Lame and bizarre email from my previous boyfriend/fiancee, current stalker and serious loser.

Synopsis: I went to a foreign country, met a boy, fell in love, fell out of love. What I thought was a semi-mutual breakup has turned into a one sided unrequited email stalking. Seriously. He continues to email me weekly although I have not responded to him since March.

received 7/27/06. (the note is completely unedited,I even left in the boring parts and typos)

To: Me, From: Him

subject: vacation people and on arguments

i was planning to have my annual vacation in early sep.
but like last year i suddenly feel tired again.
last year I met you, for almost half a year I lived with the thought of you in my mind.
recently i was on a business trip to Kayseri, somewhere in middle anatolia (the name comes from Kaiserium which is a derivation of the word Caeserium-- and you're smart enough to know what it means...) anyway that's not the point.
the point there is our dealer's nephew there is going to get married on this friday...he was complaining about his prolonged engagement...he said that there were so many arguments that they were having at the moment...
in the end he said it was a better idea to get merried asap and let the issues be solved as these two people get to know each other better undera tighter bind.
anyway, I just sat down like a good boy and listened silently.
i heard this from so many people.
and in the end this happened to me.
if I stayed there, I know that I could have sorted out our issues. very stupid ones indeed. but anyway that was not meant to happen that way. one cannot beat his destiny. i'm still shocked in some way though...

well...one thing's for sure...one day these disturbing self confession type of mails will end,too, but that will not mean that I was able to forget you. That I cannot do. My grey file, with our pics inside, lies3 out there on my desk untouched. I can't find the power to hide it away. It just is there.

one day...perhaps after a long while...one day perhaps your disappointment towards me ceases, perhaps one day we can sit down, only for an honest coffee, and talk.

a.

July 07, 2006

Kind of like gawker, but not

Chelsea Clinton is not a dog. It has been confirmed to me that she is pretty, or to quote my ex-boyfriend who spotted her this past fourth of July in Manhattan attending a bbq with her man, she was "way prettier than I'd ever imagined." Isn't that great news?

Chelsea is not a dog, she is not hard to glance at, difficult to remain focused upon, a sight that makes eyes sore and those with vision prefer blindness. This part is unconfirmed, but I would wager she's not only surprisingly cute, but also funny and cool and has her dad's overall sheen and charm-i-ness. I am relieved. I am satisfied. I am pleased.

I can now rest easy, never having to worry again, that my favorite ex president and alleged sex machine has to shoulder the burden of loving an ugly child. A burden I will probably have to bear myself one day, if I ever settle down, quit being a junior spinster and marry one of my boyfriends. I know that if a future parent of a hard to look at baby list exists, my name is at the top. I am kind of mean that way. I've said, "Damn, did you see that ugly baby?" and "My god, that kid looked fucked up" too many times for there not to be repercussions.

I'm sorry, but all babies are not cute. There are ugly babies, plenty of them, and one day I will have one of my very own. Bill Clinton, however does not, because his baby turned out pretty.

exhale.