2 weeks notice, 3 of the sweetest words, when used in that order, post fetching a cup of ice for a fat fuck with a comb over. Yeah, I'll admit that mostly I loved my job, the one I had these past two years only because the job I had the year before that sucked so hard. I went from the worst job in Manhattan to a pretty ok job, with a generous salary for my individual contribution --- by comparison, my last job was great, amazing, a joy each day, but after 2 years and a much better offer, I had to say sayonara mother fuckers. And I mean that in the sweetest way. That's who I am. I'll give my best, work late and hard, but it won't last forever.
I knew my days were numbered and that it wouldn't be much longer after I had sex with a guy from the office. I was bored, needed a diversion, and if sex with a co-worker doesn't add some daytime drama, nothing will. Isn't that horrible... I claim to cheat on my dear sweet boyfriend because I'm bored at work. My boyfriend is a musician, not the type of job where money rolls in consistently, so I am relied upon at times to pick up my fair share of bar tabs and such. We can't both be broke, can we? That wouldn't help the relationship much either, so if I have to sleep with a guy from the office just to keep up my morale, I'm willing to do just that.
Incidentally, office guy was a joke to sleep with --- his skills were completely non existent, so was his cock and broke musician boyfriend has inches to spare and kisses so sweet and skilled I have absolutely no excuse for ever needing to seek kisses and such elsewhere. Cheating can't be about sex, cause if it was, I'd clearly be faithful, at least this time. God knows I have been faithful to far less accomplished lovers than "S".
I'm hoping my summertime hook ups, sneaking around and being a slut doesn't end up a habit. Twice in the past two weeks I have been able to control myself when a extra-relationship hookup was looming. In the moment when things were about to go a step too far, I closed my eyes and imagined a bucket of ice water falling over me - within seconds I was soggy and ashamed and able to pull myself together. It's not easy behaving in a manner suitable to a girl with some dignity and a boyfriend. The clock ticks and I get older each second. I wonder how much longer guys will be perving on me? Will I regret not taking advantage of these days of ample suitors and boys still eager to bed me?
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Time is my everything & You are my only home
Note:
- ves
- east village, new york, United States
- not that i'd been sitting around toiling over ideas or items, or anything, but in between friends, family, boyfriends, break-ups, drinking, parties, blemishes, job changes, weight loss, weight gain, obsessive working out, not working out at all, quitting smoking, paying rent, birthdays, work, vacations, 3 years passed since the day I decided to start my blog --- Pan three years later
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