A N T I C I P A T I N G --- yet trying to live life in the moment

April 19, 2007

How do you say man hating bitter woman in French?

After just a few days in Paris I've realized that the whole french are assholes business is a huge fraud, directed at americans or maybe the whole world, just to keep tourist levels manageable. I went to France prepared to brush off a few totally rude frenchman without getting myself pissed off and regretting I'd flown 7 hours to get there, but that never came to pass. Except for a few weird moments, a taxi driver that barely stopped the car when I needed to get out, which I think was mostly a misscommunication, cause if he didn't speak english, how would he know stop here, and when the door was flung open by me, he didn't errupt into a merde or sacre bleu or you moron tourists are trying to kill yourselves by opening a door in a moving car, instead he accepted my friend's euro, albeit never fully stopping, but It was probably more of a I'll stop on a proper corner instead of the middle of a busy street vs. I refuse to stop, just jump out! Then there was the ticket guy at the theater who asked us if we were students, which seemed rude for a second, as if he were commenting on our age, making fun of us, but then in an instant realized he genuinely thought we were students and was asking if we had student id's so he could provide us a discounted ticket, not exactly barbaric behavior, and in afterthought really quite sweet.

In fact, I'll take it a step further and say at some point the french gathered up their assholes loaded them on a plane and sent them to NY and Miami where they live among us and seize every opportunity to piss one of us off. I've dated 2 frenchman in the U.S., both dicks, one thought I acted stupid around my friends, had no personal scent (whatever the fuck that means) and the other asked me what I did at the gym precisely at the moment I got up from my bed naked to get him a glass of water post our mediocre sex, I'll translate further, I think he had sized up my figure as not quite fit enough for him and was also accusing me of doing something other than go to the gym on the afternoons and evening I claimed to be working out.

Cest la vie --- Can't blame the french for me dating 2 total assholes. I could flood the internet and crash entire servers if I suddenly decided to type out every scenario where a guy did something rude or said something unkind to me. I doubt any guy I dated in NY would remain unmentioned, cause if I had to name a city that had assholes to spare, it would be this one.

April 09, 2007

Somebody's dreamgirl, that's me.

2 dates, 2 dilemmas.

Should I start a new, secret, nobody knows who I am blog and rant and rave that I have been on 2 craigslist derived blind dates, one of which was a nightmare, the other was kind of nice, with a guy who is somewhat promising? Crazier than thou, me, responded to 3 ads and met 2 men, a third I am considering and now I have new stories, the embarrassing kind, that might amuse strangers and make friends worry I have finally flipped my lid, not just me saying I'm crazy, but me really backing it up.

Guy 1 -
Super successful rich, semi famous jewish business guy,
the best thing about our date was his car. That happens a lot actually, a gross, arrogant guy with story upon story about himself, generally has a flashy sportscar, which I didn't think I was into, because I'm not exactly materialistic, but an expensive, fast, shiny car is quite the aphrodisiac, makes me want to throw on a bikini and pull a Tawny Kitaen sex with a car routine.

Guy 2 -
Walk on a cloud material, tall, beautiful blue eyes, sweet, funny, amazing white smile, smart, interesting and just happens to like my type. Yeah, I'm a type, short, well rounded bottom; I also appeal to glasses fetish guys with a quick switch from contacts to librarian specs. I wear heels, so I attract my fair share of shoe fellas too. And ofcourse there is a whole tribe of men who are attracted to unstable, loud mouthed, close to the brink, semi crazy, sassy, zany, edgy, whatever you prefer to call it, I like DSM-IV personally ---- There is a breed that is drawn to us, our mood swings, mania, highs, lows, sex addiction and phobias.

I have daddy issues, control issues, authority issues, the list goes on, and for some special guy, I'm a crazy bitch dreamgirl.

And, If I can't find him on Craigslist, he can't be found.

April 03, 2007

Not much longer now

The only reason I maintain this P.O.S. (piece of shit) blog is so that Missy R. can keep up with me, without actually having to call. The things I'll do for a friend...

Truth is I'm pretty much bored with it. It's not authentic, it's completely censored and I just don't want to share my whole fucking head with ex boyfriends and others who know who I am, but don't really know who I am. Get it? Yeah, I didn't think so.

I want to rant about how some of my friends suck, that they're selfish and I often imagine life without them around, not dead or anything, but not in my life. I have so many good and exciting things going on and you are not one of them. You use me and when I need you, you're never there, and you're not very funny or cool and hanging out with you has become a chore, SO;

that's it. I've made my decision, consider this my two weeks notice, I'm tying up loose ends, then I'm writing you off.