I held my ground for 2 whole days, but on the third, when he left work early to come by my place to get his stuff he broke me down. Men hate to lose. So I was half expecting a bit of a struggle. I took all the necessary steps to fight against it. I made a date with a boy I find quite intriguing for just an hour later. All I had to do was hand off the stuff and make a clean break into the safety of a dinner date with a record producer who tells great stories and can keep me entertained for hours. My plan failed.
Doug showed up looking like he hadn't slept in days. He didn't have his usual arrogant strut, more of a hunchback dragging his gimp leg behind him, something I'd never seen on him before. We talked for a few minutes, I apologized for my shortcomings, cause although I never mention my faults, I played a major role in the demise, including keeping the company of other men. Which technically, his mixed messages and lack of commitment forced me to do, but nonetheless, I confessed to my acting like a whore. We parted and I went in the direction of my date only to have him call back and say he wanted to discuss things further, and I told him I couldn't - that I had plans and we really didn't have anything else to discuss. And he said some sweet stuff, and I crumbled, confessed more and hung up to cancel my dinner with the record producer who was so polite and nice about the whole thing.
I complain about boys, their inability to commit, their inability to be honest and yet I am just that way. I cheat, I lie and just when things start to get good, I run, I sabotage.
I don't expect much to come of this relationship, but I am trying and for the time being I'm back on shirt ironing duty.
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2 comments:
Interesting to know.
Now that's something like it!
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