Letter re: New lap top, new year, second attempt at blogging

Dear faithful reader,

Two things:
I have a new laptop and broke up with my boyfriend ("S")-

This means no more excuses about why I haven't had time to write. Keep in mind I really was busy this past year having nearly non-stop and possibly the best sex of my life with "S." Whenever we got close to realizing we had zero or less in common we'd skip to the bedroom scene where not having stuff in common doesn't exist and definitely doesn't matter. On the bedroom side of my studio apartment, the lights are always dim, incense and candles burn endlessly, kisses are conversation, so if parts fit and fires burn, no one need worry where the non-relationship is going. Numbing yourself with sex takes time and energy, and that, combined with my constant computer issues just made it not possible to blog. You should also know that I was attempting to blog on my 7 year old dinosaur-mac, which is no easy task. At least 5 or so times, I wrote stuff that exposed the creepiest, scariest, most vulnerable pieces of me in a paragraph or two, only to have my desktop freeze up and freak out, which spared me the humiliation of having others know a bunch of fucked up stuff about me.

In the end, it worked out. I resolved to start a blog last December and did just that, even if it was sporadic, thin at at times, and perhaps read only by a handful. I'll claim any victory I can.

Resolve, rinse, repeat.

VES

PS. If I made my time with S sound sad or bad --- that wasn't my intention at all, I thoroughly enjoyed our year together, and if I had a chance to go back in time, knowing then what I know now, I would choose to know him again. How could I resist Stephen, his kisses, his beautiful white straight teeth framed by his perfectly red lips, his piercing laugh, his guitar riffs --- so much passion buried inside that simple man. I will miss aspects of him for a long time, if not forever.

Michael says my handwriting hasn't changed since I was 16

After a surprisingly rational discussion, S and I have agreed it is time to move on. Apparently he wasn’t getting what he needed from the relationship either.

Feel a light pressure was lifted and then immediately replaced by a new weight.

More than my handwriting hasn’t changed – Never satisfied, still fickle and kind of a gypsy, after all these years.