Clearing Clutter

So I'm reading this feng shui, clear clutter from your home, hence your life, book and it advises to toss junk out, but I'm finding it hard. I found 10 or so journals of stuff I wrote since I moved to NY in 1999. Some of it is from a screenplay writing class I took at NYU -- it made me laugh, here goes (cause I want you to laugh too), fiction written in 2001, posted in 2007 for you.

Fiction:

The dentist reprimanded me today, too much tartar, wanted to know if I'd been flossing. He asked a lot of questions, too many for my taste, and I didn't appreciate the tone when he asked if I grind my teeth. What's he suggesting? Self righteous, religious right, obviously thought it was the teeth grinding associated with drug use. He spoke to me with a "I've known your family a long time attitude." I should have told him the tartar buildup was from sucking entirely too much cock, and that I would stop immediately and adopt a new regiment of oral care. Brush, floss, wax, 5 x's a day. That's what he wanted to hear. Takes a real sadist to be a good dentist, and Doctor Super Teeth is precisely that.

I have to look for a new dentist, but there could be repercussions, he's a vengeful bastard for sure and will probably call my mother when I miss my next cleaning. I can hear it now, I think your daughter has a drug problem, did I mention my son just got his MBA, Wharton, I know, it's disappointing, we really wanted Harvard, sad how we love our children, give them the best dental care and they let us down.